I got back last week from Alaska. I was only there for a week, but I saw enough. Well, not enough, but enough for what I needed from the trip.
I wanted answers and clarity.
Last year I went to Egypt before starting on a new team at work.
On that trip, I chose to be true to myself and I took that home with me. The lessons I learned did not fare well for the station in life I found myself in when I came back.
After gestating for nine months, I was birthed out of the industry and into my new life.
I was reincarnated two months ago and only went through one round of modern technical interviewing. I banged a uey and got the hell out of dodge.
I don't deal well with limitations imposed by labels. My life is not a rubric anymore and I do not want it to be one again.
In Alaska, everyone cut it on their own with nature; not against it.
The thing I learned in my time spent between Da Nile and Denali is that I was in denial. You cannot dismantle the master's house with the master's tools.
It is time to change the game. I'm not alone. I'm with everyone that stands tall on their own.
Chat started on 13 Jul 2022, 02:27 AM (GMT+0) (02:27:11) *** tyler joined the chat *** (02:27:11) tyler Hi, i bought books and cannot download them. the website keeps logging me out too.
i need the files in epub or pdf format for my device. (02:29:12) *** Marina M joined the chat *** (02:29:43) Marina M Hello, Thank you for contacting VitalSource Support. Before we begin are you a Bookshelf or Acrobatiq Course User? (02:29:50) tyler Bookshelf (02:30:35) Marina M In order to better assist, may I please have your full name, the email address, and the name of the organization, company, school, or university (if your account is enrolled in one of them) you used to register with VitalSource Bookshelf? (02:31:05) tyler Tyler [REDACTED] and i'm an individual (02:33:30) Marina M Thanks. We also need the complete title of the ebook, please (02:34:06) tyler five books total: (02:34:08) tyler Alfred's Basic Adult Piano Course, Lesson Book 1: Learn to Play Piano with this Esteemed Method (02:34:13) tyler Performing Electronic Music Live (02:34:18) tyler One More Thing (02:34:22) tyler Principles of Game Audio and Sound Design (02:34:27) tyler Getting Gamers (02:36:35) Marina M Thank you so much for providing that information. Please note the following information We apologize for any confusion regarding the format of your digital material.
VitalSource eTextBooks can only be downloaded and accessed through the free Bookshelf application found at the following link:
Please note that you also have the option of accessing your digital material via Bookshelf Online from the following link:
https://bookshelf.vitalsource.com (02:37:05) tyler I will need a refund for all five book, please. (02:38:36) Marina M Oh I see. The system indicates that the book could be refunded. So sorry I have an issue with the server to do it from this end. Would you be so kind to get that by yourself? The instructions are: Go to the User Account icon (The Head and Shoulders) and click “User Info.” Click on Transactions, locate your order, click on “Details,” and then click on “Request Refund.” Fill out the form and click the Refund button. Refunded purchases will show up in the Refunded Items section in Your Account Center. Please Note: Once you complete your refund request, it may take up to 2- 10 business days to post back to your account. This action only needs to be done one time. Please take your time and let me know if everything went well with your refund (02:42:00) tyler done, thank you.
can you forward the message along that this was “a total bummer of an experience”. I want that message to reflect on the DRM and publishing contract and not you.
Marina, you were fantastic, thank you for your help tonight. (02:43:00) Marina M So sorry for this frustrating issue, Tyler. Sure, I could forward your message, no worries. Is there anything else that I can help you with today? (02:43:20) tyler That's all, take care! :) (02:43:51) Marina M Thanks! Please have a nice evening! Thank you again for contacting the Bookshelf support line. When you are done with the chat, please go to Options at the bottom of the chat window and press the “End this Chat” button.
You will be receiving a transcript of our chat today. (02:44:56) *** tyler has rated the chat Good *** (02:44:56) *** tyler has commented: Marina was very helpful, but I wish I didn't need to request refunds for books I was very excited about reading. *** (02:44:56) *** tyler left the chat ***
I learned the technical term “Code-switching” in a diversity and inclusion session at work.
Code-switching is divided into two types: language-based and culture-based, according to psychologist Beverly Tatum, PhD, race relations expert and author of Why Are All the Black Kids Sitting Together in the Cafeteria?
Code-switching is shifting or manipulating one's behaviors to appeal to a different crowd or audience
Code-switching can also be about altering your appearance to fit the norm of the environment you're in.
Turns out I've been code-switching vocally since I was hooked on phonics as a child. It was only natural for me to code-switch as a software professional.
Then a pandemic happened.
I started code-switching in my own apartment.
Nah, not on my watch.
“I'm not trapped in here with you; you're trapped in here with me.”
Imagine I said this totally outloud at the button on the remote that says “Netflix”.
I stopped code-switching.
I wrote memos fully expressing and articulating myself as a human being. My dreams, my passions, my ambitions, my faults, and my failures.
It was nuts. People were like, “Yo, you can't just say that. Like, I fully and entirely agree with you, but like yo, you're gonna get yourself fired.”
And it didn't matter. I was still writing software that met the success criteria. I wasn't fired. My thoughts and opinions on the way of life and the world and how I fit into it do not matter to a global corporation. They only care about results and I gave them results.
I wasn't changing the world and the company in the way I thought I would.
So I stopped code-switching my code.
I committed digital suicide in my personal and professional life. Deleted my socials. Stopped using a Macbook. Ran from compilers and fully embraced scripting.
Wrote my own developer and designer tooling. Rejected the english bias. Literally began communicating in a foreign language that only I understood.
That's what happened. And I don't regret it because I stand for something I believe in and I like the friends I've made since coming into my own voice.
English is spoken by 20% of the world. English is required by 100% of software.
Therefore, to learn software one must first learn english.
Therefore, the most universally accessible software will require the least amount of english.
Upon following this rationale, I set out to determine a dictionary that might be taught to a non digital native to not only understand technology, but to communicate with it.
On: A workflow to be triggered when any concept is engaged in some capacity.
Read: Access current conceptual information.
Render: A documented representation of shared human and computer concepts.
Style: A declarative agreement on how a concept should be presented.
Write: Distribute new conceptual information.
That's the dictionary. However, it is not only words, it is code.
I wrote the first version in native web, but any language designer could adopt this terminology and abstraction.
While culturally valuable, this type of research simply is not in scope for an entertainment company in a downturned economy, so I lost funding.
With other factors contributing to downsizing, there simply wasn't another opportunity for me to be slotted into.
However, had things gone the way I envisioned them, this approach would be taught around the world to make the Netflix application more culturally vibrant, since any region could have a custom tailored experience made by themselves for themselves without needing to assimilate imperially to english computer completely or surrender to artificial intelligence.
I called that vision Mondrian and the people I respected understood it, which was all I needed to stand alone even though the easier path was to just code-switch and keep my job.
January 1st, 2021 was the first day I woke up without a google account. I'd spent the prior months preparing to disconnect.
Backed up my data a few days before. Migrated emails to my own domain name over years. It took time.
I had my data on a flash drive and my laptop.
The day I flashed my laptop with a new OS was the first time the flash drive stopped working. I don't even remember when that day was.
That was it. Not with a bang or a whimper.
I'm still alive. I woke up beside myself.
We went to Egypt last September. It is wrong to be drunk, gay, or a woman there. It was much like Liberty University. The only difference was the call to prayer was blasted through the loudspeakers for all to hear.
We're going to move soon. I was happy in Egypt. I had very little baggage. I didn't buy fancy new clothes. I brought myself.
But we can't move to Egypt. Or the parts of America that are too much like Egypt. There are tiny oasis-like places everywhere, sure. But the day-in, day-out, constant regressive banter is exhausting— let alone the world-view enforcement. Spare me the misplaced conclusions.
I lived in the heart of fake news for facism during my four years in Lynchburg, Virginia. It caused me to walk away from religion entirely; watching the spiritual solace I found in childhood be compromised by powerful people merging religion and politics into a winner take-all pledge to end civil rights— the exact opposite message I accepted from Jesus and my exact experience raised in an upper class church by a single mother from a lower class family, in hindsight.
You fucked my generation by not preparing for us. I had to move away from home to try and find my footing since many affordable housing projects were shot down by people protecting their real-estate interests. Supply and demand. The market decided, fewer homes means more valuable homes. I loved learning about this in church while watching my mother struggle to make ends meet, yet parroting our affluent oppressors. Kyriarchy.
Stunningly, the same people today complain about how no one wants to work anymore. The truth is: everyone that has any ambition to succeed in this life left your sorry ass at the gate to your suburb and never looked back. Everyone that remains are the people you, and your other wealthy friends, defeated that have become content in their station. Congratulations, here's your sign.
We're moving. Not far, but a move is enough to trigger a new round of reflections. Losing my job, getting married— thinking as a partner in a family now, what is my life going to look like?
Different than it is now. Different if we must keep moving.
I'm going to have less. I've held onto lots of little things over the years— just in case.
At this point, I've explored the things I want and the things I need. I've found the things I can repair and can live without the things I can't.
I know who I'm going to be and not just wondering about who I could be.
I just need to shut up and do it.
They say one bite at a time, but that's too easy to give up.
“I tried elephant once; I didn't like it.”
I don't want to speculate, but I will wager the meal wasn't prepared by Chef Ramsey.
So if eating an elephant one bite at a time is difficult and then even more difficult by choosing a quality cut and prep, how does one eat an elephant?
A lifestyle change. A new default.
“Elephants? Yeah, for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.”
You don't eat anything except elephants. No need to provide estimates. You'll eat elephants like steady state cardio with practice.
Not only will you be great at eating elephants, you'll be great at identifying, tracking, hunting, cleaning, cooking, preserving, and conserving them.
Everything else in your life will suffer as a result though. Do not actually eat elephants. I knew this dude once that just saw pink elephants and tripped balls for weeks. Cannot imagine what eating one would do. I guess if you're going to eat elephants, just avoid the pink ones.
But yeah, one bite at a time will never cut it. Live and breathe eating those elephants. You need to want it. No one will force you to eat an elephant.
If you find that you need an elephant eaten, but don't want to commit yourself to the endeavor, hire me. Trust me, I'm a professional.
I wanted more than what Netflix had to offer me. I was trying to find my dream role and my strategy is to mountain test. Go big or go home.
I went home.
The truth is: I killed React.
A running joke in tech-circles is “the year of the linux desktop” is always this year because it is never this year. The truth is, it actually is every year for some people.
I didn't actually kill React though, I just killed it for me. Facing all the shortcomings of each version of the language with various supplemental packages for seven years now...
I decided I had enough.
I built something else. I built something simple. I built something to the point. I built something on the web.
I had a hill I was willing to die on. and I died.
I just wasn't having fun anymore, they're just a business: no roles I could find to transfer into. Time to go when downsizing.
I would highly recommend working at Netflix to a friend.
Your grandfather? In the year 2022?
That was a very spiritual year for him. Turned 33 years old.
That's how old Jesus was when he quit showing off and died and grew up and got a real job.
He definitely had some sort of existential crisis.
Started pirating music from lofi.co on his MiniDisc WalkMan.
Started opening clubs as DJ Warmup just to pass the time.
Said, “If the Titanic's sinking, who else will play jazz piano saxophone on the poop deck?”
As the sun blushes the sky, I promise to kiss you good morning and good night.
As the moon hugs the sea, my love for you withstands the phases and the tides.
As the stars meet the sands, my love for you crosses space and time.
With heart and mind, skin and soul, I will love you through life and death in this one and the next.
I promise to be your forever.